1-4 Reflections on....

1-4 

Reflections on...














In part of the first chapter of Program Or Be Programmed, Rushkoff discusses the unique ways that email, specifically on dial-up, allowed people to communicate. Rushkoff reflects on this time in a tone that is wistful and nostalgic. It seems to be his opinion that the slow, deliberate way of connecting over the first days of email was better than the constant texting and emailing of today. Rushkoff calls email "the net's first true 'killer app'" and describes it as a ritualistic and personal experience. In the old days of email, people could decide when they wanted to see an email (usually only a few times during the day or less) and they took time to carefully craft responses. It was slower and separate from "real-time communication". This slowness allowed people to control their interactions and be deliberate in ways they could not face to face. Rushkoff states "Even a heated exchange was pursued with finesse, combatants having the time to cool down and consider the best retort instead of simply lashing out". 

Today, technology and communication are always present in our daily lives. With smartphones we can receive emails and texts at anytime and anyplace. When you receive a text, the sender can even see if you have read it and harass you if you haven't responded in a timely fashion. As a result we now have new rules of etiquette for how we are supposed to communicate digitally. I often find myself saying "I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond." Like Rushkoff I also get nostalgic for older technologies and ways of doing things online. I often feel overly connected to everyone and everything around me with my portable devices and am often overwhelmed by it. I've been known to purposely let my phone die on more than one occasion


I was born in 1991 and much of my nostalgia for older technology and computer games comes from my childhood memories of the late 90s. One of my favorite movies growing up was Nora Ephron's, 1998, You've Got Mail, the story of two people who hate each other in real life, but fall in love over email after meeting in an anonymous chatroom. In a way the movie was my first and only example of how adults communicated with each other over the internet (also my first example of online dating). Other movies showing characters meeting online were horror films and warned of serious stranger danger. However, in You've Got Mail, the freedom to be anonymous through email revealed certain aspects of the film's characters that could not have been revealed in person because of the snap judgements they made face to face. It was a romance that could have only happened over email. The film's characters, Joe Fox and Kathleen Kelly, display many of the behaviors that Rushkoff describes. They look at emails only when they want to see them, they agonize over responses, taking their time to craft perfect descriptions of their days and probing questions for each other. Joe even responds to one of Kathleen's email about never being able to come up with biting comebacks and insults in the moment with, "When you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows". 

When I rewatch You've Got Mail as an adult, the way technology is represented is so outdated and is as a result charming and delightful, from the rudimentary 3D generated New York City in the opening credits, to the overly dramatic ways the characters lift their fingers a foot above the computer before sending an email. Both the movie, which is beloved by many, and Rushkoff create a serious nostalgia for the way we used to communicate. 








via GIPHY



Program or Be Programmed also left me to contemplating how our interactions online have changed in the world of flirting and dating. Rushkoff writes about the constant access to messages and information that is made available to us through our phones. We can accept calls and texts from anyone at any time and place (now the subways even have wifi and service) and we can get access to constantly updating emails. The way that this plays out in our romantic lives via dating apps and texting is a stark contrast to the love story that unfolds in You've Got Mail. When I met the person who would become my first college boyfriend, we texted constantly. We texted thoughts, jokes, things about our day, all day every day (while walking, while with friends, in class). However at the time we were both in the same city, we even lived in the same dorm on the same floor. We did not need to text to find ways to communicate. Today, I can't even imagine the energy that took and the amount of times my texting habits took me out from being present in the real world and into the digital world. If I didn't get a timely response, I anxiously checked my phone again and again. Did I say the right thing? It was exciting and agonizing. The constant connection does not give us the space and time to reflect on our feelings, ourselves, and our own autonomy. Rushkoff explores this constant connection more in Chapter 2. The connection, which he also calls the network, is happening at a distance. As a result, the network trades the local for the far away, which according to Rushkoff has a myriad of negative effects. The interaction requires less effort, we are desensitized and disconnected to what we see on digital screens, we forget local businesses in favor of global enterprise, and lead to loss of a sense of place. Not the most optimistic diagnosis. In relationship to dating, we may interact with the object of our affection digitally even if we live in the same city or we may meet and fall in love with people who live hundreds of miles away, even though we may never have the opportunity to meet them face to face. 

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